Sunday, March 16, 2008

Here I am...

--I know it's been quite some time since I've blogged....I've been 'trying' to maintain through all the crap lately. Barely... I hope this is over soon. I don't think I can handle the stress much longer. I had a bad day this week, where I swear I could have easily lost my mind...
--All in all, it was another busy week. They seem to fly by. I did get to 'work' Tuesday, and that is becoming a highlight for me. I delivered my AVON order, and got my STAMPIN' UP order sent in again..and it's ALL for me! LOL
--Today, I'm finishing up the income taxes..all my AVON crap (that I always leave til the last)...UGH!!! Tomorrow is my appointment with my tax lady. I'll be SOOOOO glad when it's over! I've got LOTS of questions for her, so, hopefully, I can tie up several loose ends after the appointment.
--This will be another busy week...taxes on Monday--and, my SU order will be in, work on Tuesday, AVON meeting in Show Low Wednesday (so, that means a run to Walmart *grin*), my AVON order goes in Thursday a.m., and, I've got 14 cards to make for a retreat swap, 2 to 4 pages to make for my contribution to a 'book' gift, and, I've got to finish up my ::FRIEND:: gift (a scrapbook of sorts in the shape of the word FRIEND-WITH some pictures for my friend, Chris, in Washington. Oh, yeah, and somewhere in there, I need to CLEAN THIS HOUSE!
--Hubby has Friday, Saturday and Sunday off, so, I'll have to hustle to get things done before Friday. I wish keeping busy would help keep my mind off all the crap, but, I doubt it.....valerian root is my friend!

--I got this in an email this morning and thought it was funny, true or not! Enjoy.

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Sir,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstal period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Cray

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to ed our life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

count your blessings...

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