so sad

My day started out pretty good, after getting a really good nights sleep. I had sat up and watched "Bridges Over Madison County"...just a nice movie to watch, and that helped me to unwind and get to bed 'early'. I love Meryl Streep.
~~~I puttered around, washed my sheets and cleaned off my kitchen counter..ugh! It's 9 feet long on the one side and I swear, it catches everything! The bad part about it, is I'm the only I can be mad at for it....it's all my 'stuff'.

I got a phone call this afternoon from one of my oldest friends,Chris, in Washington state. Her cancer is back. 18 months ago she was in stage 4 ovarian cancer. She came out of that (major, major surgery and chemo) 'cancer-free', that's what they told her. Her numbers had been really good, then, jumped from 38 in June, to 222. I don't understand all of that, but, I do know that her doctor should have notified her of the increase from 13 to 38. She might have had a chance....now, they've told her 6 months without Chemo and 6-12 with chemo. I am numb.....
~~~She wants to come see me and had planned on flying down here, in between chemo. I told her, maybe, I'll drive up there, and we can road-trip it back to AZ, where she can visit some of the old places, then, fly back out of Phoenix. She liked that idea.
~~~We have been friends since about 1972. We worked the same time at my parents El Taco, and she was my neighbor, too. I have so * many * memories. When she first was diagnosed, I thought of how big a part of my memories she was! I hate myself for not staying closer. ---- We have the type friendship--mostly phone calls--where you can go for months, even years without talking, but, when you do get on the phone, it's just like it always has been. We made each other laugh so hard, each time we talked! We exchanged birthday cards fairly regulary...and I always reminded her that she was the OLD one! LOL, by 17 days. Tonight, she told me, it's been since 1982 that we saw each other. WHY?
~~~She's had such a hard life, but, you'd never know it! You know the type---always so bubbly, cheerful and happy-go-lucky; and the one that attracted all the deadbeats.
WHY? She is such a VERY hard worker, and had so much going for her. WHY??? She had married a deadbeat when I first got to know her. Divorced him. Lost her mom, moved back to family in Washington, where the weather tore her up each winter. Married another deadbeat. Another divorce. Lost her dad. Married another deadbeat, who was the dad to her very ADHA son---he abandoned them both---altho, maybe it was for the best. They were divorced, too. She worked so hard and had her hands so FULL raising a very difficult child all on her own, no money or help whatsoever from the boys dad. Met other men that came and went. Then, lost her property to another deadbeat who had no entitlement at all to it, money or labor wise! Fought off stage 4 ovarian cancer, only for it to return again....WHY????? I just don't get it. Maybe she is the lucky one, tho? She will have time to get things in order before it's time. I know she's so worried about her son, who is a very immature 20-year-old.

I am so sad. I wish my hubby was home.....he knows Chris from way back too. When we were first married, Chris would come to Bisbee and stay with us for awhile. I remember flopping a mattress on the living room floor and she and I would lay out there late at night and laugh til we peed! Those are the kind of friends that come few and far between. Not just anyone knows my deepest darkest secrets....Chris is one of them.

So, I'm off of here for the night. I think I'll look through my stash of yarn and patterns to see if I have something suitable for a prayer shawl for her.

...count your blessings...and call or visit a dear friend!!!